The importance of great friends.

I realized today that clearly every day may not work for blogging. I should have learned this from my friend Bernice who has an amazing blog project called 12days2inspire
where she diligently wrote every day for a year taking on a new project every 12 days. It was amazing and still is. I can only commit to writing as often as possible.
Last night we had Christmas dinner for 14 old and new friends. First Shawn is incredible he cooked an incredible meal with grace. A huge turkey and a ham, in a space challenged kitchen. Sometimes his superhuman feats astound me.


Seeing so many diverse friends together made me think about what makes you hang onto certain people in your life and why do some fall to the wayside?
What does the managerie of people around you at any particular time say about who you are or where you have come from.
I have not figured out an answer to this one yet but I am working on it.
There is a truth in all of our friendships and an ease. There is no need for pretense, or apology about anything we are who we are.
Shawn and I are fairly private people, we do not thrive in huge social situations full of obligation. We are better one on one connecting with our hearts.

I have huge gratitude for all the roles that our friends have played in our lives, documenting certain times, being touchstones for how far we all have come and being supportive of the future.
Thank you lovely friends for sharing a great night.

The magic of walking.

Holding my son's hand, walking Stella through the snow today, I remembered. I remembered how much my body loves to walk. I remembered how important it is to connect with your kids, and how important it is to be out in nature.
I love moving my body and I know that flexibility and health are a gift.
Watching Shawn build the counter in the cabin today and realizing how many skills that it has taken to get the cabin up and running..
too tired now to write any more.. just grateful to have found my body again.
sleep sleep sleep

365 days..

This first day of 39.. what did it bring?
So many magical moments. Eija giving me Styx on vinyl, being able to rock out to the same songs that I did at 12 with my own kids. There is something so magic about being able to hear an album and experience every bump and every groove.
Shawn again teaching me the lesson of delayed gratification, and surprise. It was really amazing to see the disappointment on the kid's faces this morning as they looked under the tree and did not see what they were at first expecting.
We made them hunt for their presents and the looks of surprise and happiness was so worth it.
Eija got her first instrument, a shiny silver bass. I know that she is going to do well this, it suits her personality.
Tajo is walking that fine line between child and young man. His body is growing so fast, it is really interesting to see him self aware, saying I can feel that I am taller. Both of their bodies are changing so fast.. as are our adult bodies.
I can feel that if I do not start moving stretching that my body will begin to atrophy.
So this year I make the commitment to movement, to honouring my body, with the food I put in and with exercise. Also I think it is about time to be self aware, recognize where emotions and knee jerk reactions are coming from and take some time to reflect.
Big commitments are hard.. I am going to work with little chunks each day with hopes that this year sees real change.
The cabin is almost done.. making this happen will mark a physical finishing that Shawn and I both need to be able to move forward... closure and a sense of accomplishment.

Here is an idea..

This blog is inspired by many circumstances.. I was reflecting tonight.. December 20 2010, the night of a lunar eclipse and the night before my 39th birthday about so many things..
Birthdays sometimes have that effect on people.
I am an almost 39 year old woman..
I am a mother of a wonderful 13 year old daughter and an amazing 11 year old son.
I have been with my husband for 14 years.. and it has been a wild journey.
We live in a tiny town in BC of 300 people..
We have in our lives together.. been pot growers, bookstore owners, outlaws, art importers, venue owners, musicians, b and b owners, parents, artists, fools and geniuses.
Two years ago despite being a yoga teacher,and a pretty healthy lady, I had a hypertensive stroke.
That event alone changed my life in very significant ways.. then last year I was diagnosed with MS.
What does this mean.. so much.. I have tried to unravel it all and the last two years have been a real journey of self discovery,.. I think I know now what I am made of..
I have delved deep into the world of dis-ease..
Anyway in this pre-birthday reflection.. I have decided to keep a journal of the next year, the one before 40 and see if by doing this I can challenge myself to not wallow in the doldrums but rather to embrace life.. laugh and love deeply everyday..